Feel After Reading

I finally just sat down and read through the last half of The Deathly Hallows. I hadn’t really had time until now, but I’m glad I was able to read the last half all at once. I haven’t read it since it came out and I don’t think I’d reread all the books before hand. Granted, I didn’t reread the first one this time around like I should’ve, but my mom was (and still is) reading it when I started this reading adventure. There’s SO much that happens that the movies don’t even cover. And now that I’ve read the series again, I do actually sort of like Snape. Just a tiny bit. He fell in with the wrong crowd, but he always really loved Lily. When he found out the master he supported was going to harm her he double crossed him almost immediately and vowed to protect her son nobly. And Minerva! She was absolutely brilliant! I’ve always loved McGonagall though. And when what’s his name spit in her face I was like oh nooo. And then Harry went and crucified him and I was oh yep! And she’s trying to act like he shouldn’t’ve done that while still being deeply touched. I pretty much wanted to jump through the book and give every character a hug on every page. And Hermione! And Ron and his brilliance in the end! Ahhh! I just want to hug all of them. Ugh. Why was I not born a wizard? Hmm? Can anyone answer me that? And the Dumbledores!!! I’d forgotten EVERYTHING! I made the connection about Aberforth before I remembered it.

And their poor little sister. It made me gasp when I read it. I had to read that part twice to make sure I’d read it correctly. Poor poor girl. And even though JK rowling says that Dumbledore is gay, I really couldn’t find any shred of evidence in what she’d written that he was. No where does it indicate that he had a summer romance. Everything those two did was all things very close friends would do.

Reading books always makes me happy and sad at the same time. I love reading. I love falling in love with the characters of beautiful stories where good always triumphs over evil in the end. And the mystery in HP which intertwines all the books beautifully makes it an amazing story. I always feel sad too though. A sense of longing and loss; like somehow I’ve just lost a close friend. I cannot continue on with the characters in their world after the last page. In my imagination perhaps, but they become fictional versions of their nonexistent selves at that point. I am stuck here, in a life I do not care too much for, and they get to live in happy worlds, stuck with the scars of the past yes, but they’ve accepted them and moved on. I’d completely forgotten that Tonks dies. And her father, and Bellatrix and poor poor Fred. I knew one of the twins died, I just couldn’t remember which. And Neville! He’s so much MORE than what they make him out to be in the movies! I loved how all the Hufflepuffs come out of no where with the tangula vines and those pod things and devils snare and whatever else. Absolutely brilliant. And Peeves! And the bloody romance between Helena Ravenclaw and The Bloody Baron! J.K Rowling did an absolutely amazing job with the books. I can’t believe a story like that just popped into her head, fully formed. She said she knew how everything would turn out when she first started writing.

*sigh* I don’t know how it is she manages not to spend all her time in the world she’s created. If something as fantastical as Harry Potter popped into my head, I would pretty much spend all day laying in bed thinking about it. Also, Harry’s really cute at the end. When he died and was naked in limbo I was like oooh child. Thank you J.K for giving me that to think about.

Reading makes me sad. I’m stuck here, in this dying world, wishing to be in my own small corner with a few acres, some chickens, my beehives and my dogs. That’s all I want out of life. Just a cute little farm. I feel no need to try and contribute to the rest of humanity. I just want a little self sufficient ecosystem to live in. With beautiful flowing meadows and a large apple tree in front of a decent sized white house. The chickens eating bugs in the back garden and the dogs running to greet me when I come home from the feed store. That’s all I need. That’s my dream life. I wouldn’t mind having someone to share it with, but I’m just as content living it alone. Just need my dogs. Maybe a cat to keep the mice down…

Lazy Snowy Sunday

I just finished The Half-Blood Prince and am fighting back tears. The last sentence of the book really got to me, lol. It’s just… just sad really. More me feeling sorry for myself than anything to be honest. The fact that I’m not trusting enough to let people in is really what the problem is. Harry has Ron and Hermione, who stick with him no matter what, and I don’t have any friends at all really. None whom I confide in or who confide in me. I haven’t shed a tear in front of anyone in years. I am completely alone. Alone and not doing anything to improve my situation. I’m consciously making the decision to stay by myself. To remain alone and unproductive. And it’s just sad to read about these people who will never be more than words who will stick together through anything and face death for each other. Just makes me sad is all, lol.

Today went by much too quickly. I asked my mom if we could go to the yarn store, but apparently we’re broke so we weren’t able to go. I thought half heartedly about practicing the piano, but that didn’t ever really go anywhere. And it’s been so cold out that it snowed for a good chunk of today, so I couldn’t go outside very much. The snow didn’t stick though, which was annoying. It was just small white bits of nothing falling from the sky really. Cold enough to get the furnace going though; despite both fireplaces being turned all the way up. The high tomorrow is supposed to be 38 and the low 28. So basically I’m going to freeze to death in between classes. My mom’s making me wear about thirty layers. I don’t know how I’m going to breath exactly. I need to knit myself a hat though… Long at my hair is, it only really does anything for my ears and neck. It’d be nice if the top of my head was warm too. lol.

Anyway, I’ve got homework to do, because despite having the whole day to do it, it managed not to do itself. Sometimes homework can be a bit lazy.

Tired Bit Of Rambling About A Boring Day

Uggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Failed my math test without a doubt. I didn’t do any of this weeks homework, so I won’t be getting a curve. This could possibly be my lowest score of the year.

I managed to pull a page and a half out of my hat for my in class history essay. If I don’t get full points I will be very unhappy.

Italian, meh.

English was a complete waste of time. My teacher made us write a lengthy description about a picture, then made us write a paragraph using the details we came up with and following the prompt. Then we had to write another paragraph only with a different prompt. Stuuuuuppiiiiiddd. He never even went anywhere with the paragraphs. And we didn’t turn them in so I didn’t really have to do them. I did though, because I’m a good little college student. My teacher eventually ran out of things to make us do and let us out half an hour early. Good news is I got home early.

I’m on page 605 of Harry Potter 4. Chapter 21: The Third Task. I will be finishing it tomorrow for sure. And then on to book five! Ahhh!! It’s bittersweet to be rereading these again. On the one hand I get to fall in love with the characters from the beginning again. On the other, I’ve got to sit and watch them make mistakes I already know about and try not to shout at my book to tell them not to do something stupid. Or wait while they walk stupidly into the trap that would be so obvious if they only knew the tidbit of information I did. Not fair! Im almost scarred to get to the 7^th book again. It’ll be an end to the stories all over again. I don’t know if I can handle it.

And now I’m going to bed because my eyes are tired from reading all day. Any free moment I had was spent with my nose in the book. I’ve been reading on the bus for days now.

You Know He’s Crazy When Fire’s Impressive

 I spent most of the day reading. Any and all free time was spent flying through the pages of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I’m now on page 211. Not as far as I’d hoped, but there it is. It’s gotten to the point where my thinking has started to switch over to the dialect of Harry Potter. I find myself thinking things in a way that would fit in the book perfectly, and a quarter of my day was spent writing/reading my own life in my head. He got up to walk down the hall, moving quickly past the group of second years girls. Willow quickly pushed through the doors and headed down the stairs, two at a time, bursting through to the parking lot out the doors below. Even picking up the beans I spilt earlier… I just realized what I said, lol. I spilled some of the beans I got from my grandpa last year, which I didn’t plant incase of a bad harvest this year. Anyway, picking up those spilt beans suddenly became the next page of a life that has always been boring. I dread what happens once I finish the series, but I don’t dare read slower.

I forgot to post a few things yesterday, surprise surprise. I cleaned out the sugar and white pumpkins we didn’t carve for Halloween. I also cleaned out all the tiny squashes we bought, and all of the seeds are now drying peacefully on the ledge where my TV sits. We also husked the ornamental corn that we grew ourselves. Isn’t it pretty?

The kernels are all a deep maroon color. This was the only completely pollinated cob, but we did manage to scrape a few kernels off of the other two cobs that grew. I also picked a handful of sunflower seeds out of an enormous sunflower we were allowed to take home from the volunteer work. Unfortunately the sunflower was left downstairs too long, so most of the seeds had mold covering them. I salvaged what I could.

Today was long and dull and without Harry Potter I wouldn’t’ve made it. When I got home though, F offered to fix my fireplace because I said that I was chilly inside, even with the fire downstairs going. He came over and had it going in seconds. *rolls eyes* he did everything he told me to do (which I did) but I couldn’t get it to stay lit. It’s still going right now though. Take a look.

*everyone mutters, a mocking look on your faces* yeah willow, that’s a real fire alright…

It’s really nice because my room now has the faint flickering of a fire dancing on the walls, and is nice and toasty warm. Leaving the fire on downstairs all night wasn’t keeping my room warm enough. Now there are two fires!

*everyone mutters again* yeah willow, you’ve really got a great fire in your room there…

Anyway, after F left (I went over to grab some potatoes that they weren’t going to use [he was sold 100 pounds of the wrong kind of potatoes] and then) I read some more. Now I’m going to bed because it’s tired and I’m late. Strike that. Reverse it.

Reading Makes My Life Boring (For You)

Today was much more peaceful than yesterday. I spent the entire day lounging around the house reading the third Harry Potter book. I finished it and am now ready to start the fourth. I finished my Italian homework for tonight and tomorrow, but didn’t do any prepping for Monday’s in-class essay, and didn’t even think about math or the four page English essay. *sigh* if only my parents had tried to make me a better student. And had provided me with the genes to have a better functioning brain.

I’d forgotten how much STUFF happens in the harry potter books. They leave out SOOO much in the movies, and make the characters seem a lot less important than they are. Hermione was a big part of the third book, but in the movie they changed the story completely so she was in parts that didn’t happen but not in parts that were important. *rolls eyes* makes no sense to me. I’m really excited to start the fourth book. I think it might be the longest one. 734 pages. I don’t know if I’ll be able to manage that this week, lol. And listening to it, while still fun, just isn’t the same. I love the voice of the man who read the harry potter books though. My family did a road trip… at least 8 years ago, and we listened to the Harry Potter books on cassettes while were driving for a lot of the time. I would probably listen through some of the fourth book (seeing as I have so much time on the bus) I if I owned a cassette player still. The only book we have on CD is the last one.

Let’s see… things to say, things to say… hmmm… well, I got nothing. Harry Potter consumed my day, and that’s about it, lol.

Skipping For Sleep

Last night I had a feeling I was going to be too tired to go to school. So when I woke up, I pretty much got out of bed to ask my mom if I could stay home. She let me, and I went back to sleep for another several hours. Despite having almost 11 hours of sleep, I could’ve easily taken a nap later in the day. WHY AM I SO TIRED! Ugggggghhhhh. It’s freaking annoying. And it’s making me really short tempered.

All I did today was play Farmville and read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I’ve got less than 100 pages to go. yay!

I “finished” my history project, but it’s SUUUPER late, as is my log book, so we’ll see what my points look like after I turn them in. I feel like I should get extra days since I was gone when it was assigned and the day it was due. Not having a car is really getting on my nerves!