Tag Archive: moving

Moving Day #3

I moved into my new place today, officially. I moved some of my stuff down at the beginning of the month, and then I borrowed my aunts van on thursday so I could bring down my larger items. Today consisted of moving down myself and a couple pillows and food items. I’m kind of excited to be starting a new chapter in my life. I was going to move down last night, but my mom ended up throwing a last minute bon-voyage party for me and my cousins stayed later than I had anticipated. Which, by the way, sparked the funniest conversation I think I’ve ever had with them. My oldest cousin turns 28 very soon and is still living at home with his mom (he has a bachelors in something to do with aeronautics) and jobless. He’s become very interested with the idea of having a girlfriend (though he’s such a misogynist I don’t know where he’d fine a girl who’d put up with him) and having kids. Or I should say, he’s opposed to both those things. He told me I should never have sex because “it’s not worth the risk” of getting a girl pregnant or catching an STD. His brother (and my mom and I) couldn’t stop laughing at him. From there the conversation got crazier and crazier, until at one point my cousin (the younger brother of the one opposed to sex) came up with the idea of a “sperm stopper” (not a condom??) and they had me google it to see if the website already existed. It does, and they sell cock rings and piercings. It was a conversation that really could only be had at our house.

But anyway! I’ve moved into my new house! My room is huge, with furnished with a queen sized bed, two dressers, and two desks. I’ve moved a few things around to make room for my 29 gallon fish tank and overstuffed arm chair. I still need to find space for a 35 inch bubble screen TV, which is about the same foot print as my arm chair. If I could get rid of the smaller of the two desks then everything would fit perfectly. My mom and I went grocery shopping and somehow managed to get so many groceries I have to store some of them in my room. My shelf in the cupboard is so full you can barely take anything out. And someone keeps putting things in my fridge space so I’ll have to ask about moving that all around. I do get a crisper drawer though, thankfully, so I’m keeping everything in that until my shelf is emptied.

I’m a little nervous about going to orientation tomorrow. Campus is huge and I don’t want to get lost. I actually don’t even know where I’m supposed to be going yet. I’ve got a few emails and things about where I’m supposed to be, and theres a schedule online, but I haven’t looked at all of it properly. And I’m exhausted from moving things around. I’ve done more in the last few days than I have in weeks it feels like. The drive down here (which takes about an hour and a half) felt like it went quick. I still can’t quite believe I’m down here. It’s so unlike anything I’ve ever done.

There’s a lot of ruckus out in the kitchen, so I should probably go socialize with my housemates. I haven’t really eaten yet today, so I should go have something. I had a few cubes of cheese and a half of the worst americano of my life. My family wanted to get together for coffee one last time before I left this morning, and I ordered a hot americano that ended up being tepid and terrible. And my mom ordered a double short late but ended up getting a grande soy latte instead. They were extremely busy, but still, two drinks wrong in a row is kind of bad. Especially an americano since its literally the easiest drink you can make. Its just espresso and hot water. You press a button and turn on the tap and you’re done.

I still don’t know if I’m going to work while going to school or not. I really can’t afford not to, but school sounds like it’s going to be really hard. *sigh* I still have so much to do. I should go have lunch. Or I could take a nap and not eat today… I’ll force myself to be social. It’ll be good for me, right?

Work has become the thing I live for recently. And I don’t mean that in a good way. Two weeks ago I worked a 50 hour week with no weekend, and I was close to a break down because I was so exhausted I couldn’t function. I work all week at starbucks and have to be on my feet and catering to crumby customers, and then on the weekends I get to waste my time at a booth and tell people which bin their ice cream cartons go in. I was so hopeful that my second job teaching people about composting and recycling was going to be fun, but its been a complete drag so far. Every event I’ve been to has been exceedingly slow and boring. I get paid a decent amount of money but sitting around doing nothing is definitely starting to drag on me. If I could at least bring a book it wouldn’t be so bad. And you know its bad if I’m saying I prefer working for less money at somewhere like starbucks than at a company I’ve been volunteering with for over a year and which pays half again as much as starbucks. Today was the first day I’ve had off in 2 weeks. Next week at Starbucks I get two day off, and I’m excited about that! My paycheck will be pathetic but I’m going to enjoy being able to sleep in so much I don’t think I’ll care. 

I’m going to school in the fall and its going to cost me (personally) $9,000 to do it. My mom and dad will be paying the rest of the $30,000 tuition. I also need another $9,000 for living expenses and car insurance for the next year. Where I’m going to come up with $18,000 I don’t know. The first $9,000 will be student loans I can pay back in 2016 once I’m done with school, so its not terrible but it does mean I’ll be in a bit of debt once I graduate. Let’s hope I find a high paying job quickly!

On top of finding money for school I also have yet to find housing. I don’t really want to live on campus because I want to bring one of my dogs with me. Housing is annoyingly expensive, and I don’t really have any idea where I’m going to live. The cheapest I’ve been able to find is $450 a month, which is cheaper than school but is still more than I’d like to pay. I don’t know what I’m going to do. And I only have 2 more months to figure it out. 

Speculation About Moving

With the imminent approach of increased child support for my sister, my mom is considering selling our house. Yes, our house costs almost half of my moms paycheck. Yes, it has some huge expenses to it, such as the failing furnace, the dry-rot in the wall of the spare room, the rusted-through pipe that connects our house to the city; the list goes on. But it’s my HOME. It’s the only place I’ve really been finally able to settle into. I wasn’t old enough to be concerned when we moved out when my parents divorced and my sister and I were spread across two houses. I spent the majority of my life in a horrid mobile home, which was falling apart and constantly breaking down. We rented, so I couldn’t do anything to the yard or really set my roots down and make it a home for me. Then we moved again, and suddenly we had a real house that was all ours. I’ve been able to put my heart into the yard and have had almost complete control over how the yard should look, although my mom is still her backwards self who says she wants something done and then gets mad at me for doing it. She wanted a trellis for a vine, so I dug the hole and asked my neighbor for help building it and was immediately in trouble, only to be told at the end of the day that it was ok again. She wanted a green lawn? I’m in trouble for watering “too much” even though I’m watering responsibly; and as soon as she’d finished yelling at me for that she told me to water a different part of the garden. My mom is honestly the type of person where you just can’t listen to anything they say because the contradict it constantly.

Anyway. My mom’s stepdad just died recently, and he owned his house, as well as the house that his daughter (my mom’s half-sister) is currently living in. So my mom is thinking that we could move into my aunts current house when they move into her stepdads house. I’m ok with the idea I guess, because we would still be able to do pretty much whatever we wanted, but their house is extremely shabby and the yard is less than half the size of ours. It’s in north Seattle, and 20 minutes from the college I’ve decided I want to go to, so it’s close to a lot of stuff, but the neighborhood isn’t the best (not that ours is either). And it’s RIGHT on an extremely busy street, so there’s constant traffic noise. Also, its just a little two bedroom house. My bed would take up my entire room.

My mom’s other plan is to have my great aunt and uncle buy our house (they just had an extremely wealthy relative die and came into a lot of money) and then pay them a much lower mortgage payment.

huh, my life almost sounds somewhat fictional when talked about like this, doesn’t it?

I really just don’t want to move. And I’m tired of being the villain in this situation. My mom and I went out with my aunt and her son tonight for dinner, and my aunt asked if my sister had “finally come to her senses and realized she needed to move home”. My mom immediately jumped to my sister defense and said “oh, please don’t feed his rage” in reference to me. Which naturally made me mad. I was fine with my aunt asking that question. There was nothing wrong with it, it was genuine, there’s no reason to be upset or happy or anything by what she said. But then my mom has to go and make it this big thing that she asked a simple question about what my sister was doing with her life. And THEN my mom has the nerve to say “well, what would you do if you were her? She’s a 16 year old girl who’s dad bought her a car and gives her a hundred dollar bill whenever she asks for money, and she has virtually no parental supervision. That sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.” I’m sorry, but can someone PLEASE explain to me how its ok to brush my sisters behavior off as “she’s a self obsessed teenage girl” and comfort her in all her decisions, but label me as acting exactly like the complete villain of this tragedy. HOW is this ok? I don’t want this “self obsessed teenage girl” in my life because she is just that, self obsessed. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself and her decisions have never been beneficial to me. She’s trouble and drama and I don’t want any part of it. But I’M the bad guy here. My mom is honestly vehemently going after me in regards to my decision to cut my sister out of my life.

Maybe my mom is so angry at me because she’s said, in no uncertain terms, she would be doing the exact same thing my sister is doing if she was in her place, so by cutting my sister out my mom thinks I disapprove of her as well. Which is true, if my mom was acting like my sister I would take my dogs and leave. What my sister is doing is not healthy for me. I cannot in good conscious ‘play nice’ with her while she continues to be a selfish bitch. It’s just something I’m incapable of. So maybe my mom thinks I’ve somehow turned on her as well. huh. I really just came up with that. It doesn’t change the how I feel about my sister, but now I think I understand why my mom is angry with me. That said, I’m not sure why it is she pretends to not play favorites. She obviously relates to my sister much easier, and is more like my sister than like me. Ugh, I’m just sick of being the forgotten child. The one who can do nothing right, despite being a damn good person if I do say so myself, and the one who is actually punished for his actions, or reactions as the case may be. My sister could literally throw my mom under a bus and my mom would be fine. I would never even think about it, but then, I’m the bad kid.

*sigh* I’m tired of these rants. I’m tired of being tired of being tired. I’m sick of my family. I’m not appreciated and am ridiculed for anything and everything. I got in trouble for how I blinked when a woman from my moms work came over and complimented a planter of ours the other day. There are too many rules in this house, none of which are explained and all of which are constantly being contradicted by one another. There also aren’t enough rules in this house! My mom was annoyed with me a few days ago because I hadn’t finished my homework yet which means my mom couldn’t drink with me. Like, what kind of dysfunctional house it this when my mom is mad because I’ve got too much homework to illegally drink with her?! Ugh.

And now I shall be done with this post for the evening because I am tired and have to work at M’s house tomorrow and then do this weeks homework as its due wednesday. There’s almost a bit of nostalgia with this tiredness as I finish writing a post… How many years have I been posting my rants for you all now? At least 4 or 5. Has my writing improved any? NOPE! You poor unfortunate souls.

Goodnight all!

Time For Another Useless Talk

My sister and I talked yesterday. It was a much calmer and more polite discussion that what we’ve had in the past. We spent probably half an hour going in circles about what should be done. My dad isn’t telling her anything about what he’s doing in court, and she has no inclination to find out. She repeated several times how much she cared about my mom and I and that she would do anything for us and that she always put my mom and I first. I had a hard time not telling her off at that point, because she’s the most self absorbed person I know. My mom has even said much the same thing on several occasions.

My sister has been listening to my dad, because she gave several of his arguments as to why he was suing my mom. “Mom makes more than he does”, was the one that annoyed me. My mom does make “more” than him, but only because he writes his own pay check. He’s not going to take more than he needs when it would be taxed. He had to buy a second house just so he would have a tax write off for goodness sake. My sister doesn’t see this at all, which she said several times when I pointed various things out. “I just don’t see it that way at all”.

My mom refuses to talk to her about any of this, which means my sister will continue to be ignorant and make uneducated decisions. She claims that my behavior is the reason she’s not moving home, which I don’t believe for a second. She chose not to move home before I cut her out, so blaming me for that is rubbish. She also claims that all I see her as is a dollar sign, which at this point is partially true. I don’t miss her at all. She brings drama with her everywhere she goes and drama is one of my least favorite things. She’s also extremely selfish (though clearly seems to think otherwise) and has no clue as to what her actions are doing. I asked my mom if we could go buy some fruit trees the other day, as they were half off at our favorite nursery and we’ve been talking about getting them for months. She told me “we can’t really afford groceries right now, so buying trees isn’t an option.” My sister then came home and made herself a full meal, complete with expensive fish, ate three bites and claimed to be so full she was going to throw up, then threw the entire thing away. My mom doesn’t seem to realize what she’s doing sometimes. She tells me that we can’t afford food, but then my sister comes home and can throw it away. I often feel like my sister is the favored of the two of us.

My sister also tried to explain that my dad really did care about me, to which I said “No, he has said in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t care about me. He likes the idea of me, but he doesn’t like me. If he really cared about me, why would he be going after mom so intensely that we’ll loose the house. You don’t do that to your children if you truly love them.” She didn’t believe me. I don’t understand how she can be that thick headed that having half of her family tell her he’s not a good person, and finding out time and time again for herself, has no effect on her opinion of him. She did say “I want a dad” which was her reason for staying. I told her that he’d never been a father to us and that he’d only ever made our lives more difficult so him being a dad wasn’t really a possibility. Her memory of the last 12 years was the complete opposite.

Oh, and I suppose I haven’t posted about this, but my mom is seriously considering selling our house again. To the point where she’s actually looking at apartments for us. This fact had no effect on my sister. My mom has to pay only a few hundred dollars less in child support for my sister every month than what our mortgage is.

My sister doesn’t understand why I’m “punishing” her for living with my dad, because she’s “not him just because I live with him”. I told her that by living with him she’s supporting his decisions and empowering him, because he’s using her to get to us. “I just don’t see it that way” was her response. She also can’t just “up and leave” and move back here because it would ruin the relationship she’s worked hard to build with him. She said that every relationship she’s ever had with anyone is constantly spent “fixing”. She said it took every bit of energy she had out of her, to which I responded that that was something I’ve never needed to do. I have a hard time feeling sorry for her when she “breaks” every relationship she has. If you’re consistently making bad choices, I’m not going to feel sorry for you for making bad choices. The fact that we had to fix our relationship was also one of her reasons for not moving back, because I refuse to try and fix it otherwise. I don’t need her in my life and I refuse to support her decision to live with someone who would so actively try and hurt her and her family. I explained to her that I felt talking to her was a form of support. Because it is. Sympathizing about her problems down there and how hard her life is is comforting and supportive. I’m not interested in helping her struggle to change someone who won’t change and who is hurting me all the while.

Anyway, long story short, my sister is as thick headed and (although in denial about it apparently) as selfish as she has always been, and she won’t be moving home because it is too hard a thing for her to do as it will require more “fixing” on her part. She clings to everything, despite how bad or difficult to live with it may be. Girl is gonna be an absolute train wreck when she marries the spitting image of our dad. Oh, speaking of train wrecks, I had my best friend M over to watch Dawson’s Creek (they reference it so much on Will and Grace [which M finally bought the complete series of!] that we had to sit down and watch a few episodes) and my sister and one of her friends come home. I honestly told M to prepare herself, because this particular friend is a bit of a mess of a person, but even with my warning M was still completely blown away by the tornado that blew through my house. My sister and her friend came in, loud as can be, yammering on about god knows what, and suddenly my sister bends over so her friend can dry hump her, right in our dinning room (her friend is a girl half my sisters size mind). My sister then straightens up and they continue shouting and laughing about whatever and make it down to my sisters room at the end of the house where they start shouting about “dicks”. My friend and I had to struggle to keep ourselves quite as we laughed ourselves to tears at the absolute white-trash chaos that my sister and her friend were. Honestly, I would need a whole other post to properly explain the mess that these two girls were, and even then I’d really have to show you a few pictures to give you a proper idea.

Anyway. My mom’s talking about moving us into a couple of apartments (she found some that are so cheap she could pay for two of them and still not be paying what our mortgage is), and we’ll probably move by the end of the year. I might move into my aunts house, or even my neighbors. They offered to pay for my schooling when I was talking to them about potentially paying for my classes a little late (due to a misunderstanding with the school) and they would love to have me live with them. They claim to have adopted me as their grandson (they have none of their own) and it’s to the point where I can’t even go outside because they’ll come over and bother me, even in the middle of my homework. I could also move in with my aunt… we’ll see how it goes. Moving into an apartment with 3 dogs would not be fun though.

At least that’s what they say. I found that saying to hold all too true to it’s self the past week or however long I’ve been gone. I think I may be addicted to blogging and without being able to post everyday I was a little… distraught. Here’s a light diagnosis for yourself. If you are experiencing: Disorientation, loss of interest, sudden bouts of bitchyness, what is known as “crying yourself to sleep at night”, anxiousness due to lack of internet connect-ability or find yourself complaining to everyone around you about personal/ private things then you may be addicted to blogging. If you are feeling any of these symptoms when away from your blog for any length of time please consult your internet provider/ computer tech support. These feelings, while not uncommon, may be unhealthy for some users and should be taken seriously.

I just wanted to make sure people weren’t feeling unsure about what they may be feeling. 😀

With the coming of the New Year I’m sure all of you made some resolutions. I hardly ever do this but I figured I might as well come up with something because it’s something that needs to be done. I was thinking of coming out; as in telling all of my friends (and not denying it to my enemies) that I’m gay. It’s something that needs to be done and it’s not even a secret anymore. I mean honestly, if a guy walks up to you and starts talking about what you’re wearing, then compares how best to moisturize one’s face, and then begins talking about how they need to tweeze their eyebrows REALLY badly but can’t because they can’t find the tweezers; then there’s a 95% chance they are a homo lol. Plus then I get to open up to gay jokes and things of that nature and can stop holding back about my opinion on things. I was going to come out this Monday but since I couldn’t access my blog I didn’t want to do it hahahah. I needed to be able to document every detail you know?

My house is AMAZING. I get the family room (complete with a staircase, a window, a bay window, two skylights, a gas fireplace, access to the attic and our second couch) as a bed room, so I have the largest room in the house. There is another fireplace downstairs in the living room. The back yard is terraced and has a lovely irrigation system as well as a view and a green house. I’ll have pictures tomorrow, believe me.

I think that covers the gist of things but I’ll go back and post in more detail on the important days that I was gone.

Oh and I spilt a full cup of water on my laptop today completely ruining it. Just wanted to mark that down.

Break Means Boring

Every time I go to my dads we sit around and watch TV. That’s all we do at my mom’s lol but it’s different here. This is all we do, there’s nothing to brake it up, no one coming over, no dogs to take out, just the TV which is half the size of the wall. The surround sound blasting non-stop killing your ears and the fire making you too hot to move. If I go to hell when I die, this is it. He has no plants in his house so the air is stale, even though he has a high-tec air purifier. I can’t stand it. When it’s quite it sounds wrong and when there’s noise I can’t think, there is no middle ground. All I did today was sit and watch movies, I watched Cheaper by the Dozen, The Holiday, and Along Came Polly. I’m just starting Mean Girls. *sigh* I should be helping to move today! I should be tired because I’ve been working my butt off all day not because I haven’t done so much as lift my cat today. Ridiculous. I wonder what my mom has been up to all day; I wonder how much she got done. I hope she didn’t break any of my plants; one of them is VERY fragile and can brake if jerked around too much. I don’t want to be here right now, I want to be moving my house. It’s like an instinctual thing you know? Like I NEED to be part of the trek from one house to another. I hope my dogs are ok; the mother in me is irritated that I’m not there to tend to my dogs. I feel like I’ve abandoned them.

Ok now I’m going to watch The Proposal. I’ll write a review in when it’s done. It looks really funny so I don’t think it’ll be too bad. Plus I love Sandra Bullock so yea lol.