Two months ago my mom was going to take me out to a “show” for my birthday. It snowed that night though, so we couldn’t leave the house. We drive a Prius, and that thing barely handles the rain. 8 of us were supposed to go total, and only 2 people besides my mom knew where the show was. The rest of us were certain it was a drag show, but my mom wouldn’t say until we were actually seated in the place. It was a drag show, haha. It was so much fun! I was extremely nervous when we got there, cause I’ve never been to aaaanything like that before. I’ve been to one real concert in my life and, while I had fun, I don’t care for loud music or large crowds. Adding to my distress, my mom and neighbor (who came with us) were telling me I was going to have to go on stage and talk to the queens because it was my birthday, and that was way too intimidating for me to handle. This was a dinner and a show type place, and I ordered a Caesar salad, the dressing of which is made with anchovy paste, which I forgot. I was eating it and it was making me feel worse, and it tasted really off to me. I mentioned it to my mom and she realized she had forgotten it was made with fish paste too. Fortunately that gave me an excuse to stop eating, because I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up.

I slowly loosened up over the next two hours, while we waited for the show to start. My neighbor and mom ordered jello shots from “Alex”, the very muscled man caring a platter of them around wearing nothing but a very tight pair of underwear. Did I mention they had him sit on their laps and took the jello shots out of his mouth? Cause they did. They also forced my friend Jordan and I to take a picture with him, and they made Jordan give him the money for the shots. And the rule for paying for shots is that he can’t take the money from you; you have to put it in his underwear. He looked completely bored having all of these drunken women fawning all over him all evening. I felt kind of bad for him. (And I know this will sound bad but) I didn’t find him all that attractive. Guys with muscles like that just aren’t that appealing to me, mostly because I look nothing like that I think, haha.

Anyway, eventually the show started, and it went for 2 hours. It was great! They had lady gaga, Celine Dion, Madonna, Adele, Barbara, Nicki Minaj, Rhianna, J. Lo, and of course Cher. Celine and Cher were fantastic. Our host had their own character name, but also did Adele at some point in the show. There was lots of walking up and down through the audience, and there was a point in the show where the choreographer (we didn’t find out it was him until the end of the show) climbed up two pieces of cloth and was flipping around in them and hanging himself by his arms and legs in all sort of crazy positions. It was intense!

There were at least 4 different bachelorette parties there, which I thought was really weird. One of the girls got so drunk that she passed out in the middle of the show and fell into the isle. They had to stop everything to get her cleared out of the way.

It was a lot of fun though. I’m glad I forced myself out of my comfort zone and let myself have a good time. In situations like that I usually clam up and make things difficult for everyone, but tonight I tried really hard not to do that at all. I posed for the pictures and smiled when I was supposed to. I rolled my eyes a lot while the jello shot guy was around, mostly because my mom and neighbor were ogling him so much. That said, one of the male dancers was suuuper cute. He was a toned blonde guy who was one of the better dancers, in my opinion. I mentioned him to my neighbor and she pointed him out to my mom, and my mom thought with some eye liner and a hat he could look like the love interest from Burlesque. Only about 60 lbs lighter and with a smaller face.

Anyway, its 3 am and I need to sleep. Dinner was at 7:30 and the show started at 10 and ended just after midnight. My mom is talking about taking us all back again next year when my friend and I are both 21 so we can drink too. Oh! I almost forgot! My sister and her friend came, and there is a point early in the show when the hostess asks if anyone wants to go up on stage, so they both went up, and my sisters friend got picked to talk to the hostess! My sisters friend was actually my friend during freshmen year of high school, but we quickly grew apart as I realized jazz and liquor were not for me. Anyway, she was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up and said she wanted to be a nurse, and she was complimented on her eyebrows, which she had painted on. She was also asked who she wanted to be if she could be anyone in the world, and she said she would like to be the hostess, lol.

Ok, now I really need to go to bed! I just wanted to write a quick post about the craziest night of my life. I’ve never done anything like that before, and literally all I did all night was sit next to the wall, farthest away from the isle, and smile all evening. I did sing along to several of the songs, and clap accordingly, but really I didn’t do anything crazy. My comfort zone is very very restricted, which is weird since I love watching RuPauls drag race.

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