I’ve been doing much much better since watching Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Yesterday I cried a bit, because M and I talked. We had hung out earlier in the day and played video games with her boyfriend K, and I was perfectly alright during that. But she texted me afterwards and sort of just word-vomited all of her recent fears and concerns about her future onto me and it made me miss how we used to talk all the time. I don’t know who came up with the ‘third wheel’ concept, but I don’t think it fully captures the idea of being the odd person out at all. I think of M and K more as two stars who have found each other after a squiggly i’ve been doing much much better since watching Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Yesterday I cried a bit, because M and I talked. We had hung out earlier in the day and played video games with her boyfriend K, and I was perfectly alright during that. But she texted me afterwards and sort of just word-vomited all of her recent fears and concerns about her future onto me and it made me miss how we used to talk all the time. I don’t know who came up with the ‘third wheel’ concept, but I don’t think it fully captures the idea of being the odd person out at all. I think of M and K more as two stars who have found each other after a journey through the dark of space and time, and who now orbit each other. I think of myself as a moon, still incapable of producing my own light; once something that traveled with M, but has since been cast out with the new gravitational forces at work. I drift alone through the dark of space now, beginning to find my own glow all the while, and occasionally being touched by the glow of other stars.

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