I hate school. It’s not anywhere near as stressful as high school was, and people are much more accepting/diverse, but I have come to regard class time much the same as that of high school. I am completely uninterested in all of the classes I’m taking, and struggle to keep from screaming during the hours of lectures I have to sit through. I’m taking Anthropology; one would assume that finding fossils and examining the evolution of humanity would be exciting. It’s dreadfully dull. I enjoyed it from afar, but given this is an introductory course, we’re only learning the basics of the basics. Its driving me mad. And math! Forget it. My ability to retain information has left me, and I spend most of my time concentrating extremely hard, only to find that my teachers words have flown from one ear completely out the other. Art Appreciation is an absolute joke. We spent two hours listening to our teacher explain why she liked a certain version of a painting, and not the other, though we will be quizzed on none of it, and nothing about it was even conceptual. I fear I may snap one day soon.
My life consists mostly of school, and driving to school, and sitting at home. I don’t know what I do each day. I have come to hate driving. I commute back and forth to school on the same road everyday. My life has become extremely monotonous. I have developed quite a habit for tea. I drink almost a dozen cups a day, and hardly ever have water anymore.
Oh! Perhaps an update on my fish is due. Exactly two weeks ago I found that a crack had appeared on the front of their tank, and since they were doing much better since I had cleaned up their water and begun feeding them properly again, I decided to invest in a new tank. The new tank has been more trouble than its worth, and I’ve had to return several different parts of it already. Anyway, I moved the fish from their ten gallon tank into this new 25 gallon tank.
I just spent almost an hour scanning through old posts of mine, trying to find the post explaining how and when I got them. If I remember correctly though, I only made a small comment about it, since I got them from my freshman science teacher who was giving them away at the end of some science experiment for her 10th graders. Which means these fish are about 5 years old. Scanning through all those posts showed me how much I really haven’t changed. I don’t know that I whine quite so much as I used to, but I do certainly whine quite a lot. I’ve got less friends, which I see on a less regular basis, and I don’t think my depression ever really went away. It’s just the lack of excitement I have for the world that gets me I think. And the horrible greyness to my day. It is rare that time moves at more than a snails pace.
Anyway. My fish were moved into a much larger tank, and it became apparent that they had ick. I’ve now been treating it for 2 weeks and have seen no improvement. And I can’t change the water too often so as to keep the fish calmer, which means my water is extremely green. I’ll do a small water change tomorrow to clear things up a little bit.
Oh! I wrote a poem today. Not a very good one mind, but then, I never do. Here it is.
Without rhymes or reasons,
The Earth, she changes seasons.
The Sun doth glow,
The rivers do flow,
And nothing stays the same.
It’s a little short, but captured how I felt at the moment in my math class well.
I have a very long rant about my life I’d like to write, but it is dreadfully long and won’t fit in tonight. So you’re all spared for another day. Perhaps I’ll write it tomorrow, to help drown my sorrow, and chase my melancholia away.
Its terrible, once I start rhyming I can’t stop. I do love poetry that rhymes. And Iambic pentameter is best. It’s a shame I’m no good at writing that way on the spot. Maybe I’ll work on something tomorrow…