My sister and I talked yesterday. It was a much calmer and more polite discussion that what we’ve had in the past. We spent probably half an hour going in circles about what should be done. My dad isn’t telling her anything about what he’s doing in court, and she has no inclination to find out. She repeated several times how much she cared about my mom and I and that she would do anything for us and that she always put my mom and I first. I had a hard time not telling her off at that point, because she’s the most self absorbed person I know. My mom has even said much the same thing on several occasions.

My sister has been listening to my dad, because she gave several of his arguments as to why he was suing my mom. “Mom makes more than he does”, was the one that annoyed me. My mom does make “more” than him, but only because he writes his own pay check. He’s not going to take more than he needs when it would be taxed. He had to buy a second house just so he would have a tax write off for goodness sake. My sister doesn’t see this at all, which she said several times when I pointed various things out. “I just don’t see it that way at all”.

My mom refuses to talk to her about any of this, which means my sister will continue to be ignorant and make uneducated decisions. She claims that my behavior is the reason she’s not moving home, which I don’t believe for a second. She chose not to move home before I cut her out, so blaming me for that is rubbish. She also claims that all I see her as is a dollar sign, which at this point is partially true. I don’t miss her at all. She brings drama with her everywhere she goes and drama is one of my least favorite things. She’s also extremely selfish (though clearly seems to think otherwise) and has no clue as to what her actions are doing. I asked my mom if we could go buy some fruit trees the other day, as they were half off at our favorite nursery and we’ve been talking about getting them for months. She told me “we can’t really afford groceries right now, so buying trees isn’t an option.” My sister then came home and made herself a full meal, complete with expensive fish, ate three bites and claimed to be so full she was going to throw up, then threw the entire thing away. My mom doesn’t seem to realize what she’s doing sometimes. She tells me that we can’t afford food, but then my sister comes home and can throw it away. I often feel like my sister is the favored of the two of us.

My sister also tried to explain that my dad really did care about me, to which I said “No, he has said in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t care about me. He likes the idea of me, but he doesn’t like me. If he really cared about me, why would he be going after mom so intensely that we’ll loose the house. You don’t do that to your children if you truly love them.” She didn’t believe me. I don’t understand how she can be that thick headed that having half of her family tell her he’s not a good person, and finding out time and time again for herself, has no effect on her opinion of him. She did say “I want a dad” which was her reason for staying. I told her that he’d never been a father to us and that he’d only ever made our lives more difficult so him being a dad wasn’t really a possibility. Her memory of the last 12 years was the complete opposite.

Oh, and I suppose I haven’t posted about this, but my mom is seriously considering selling our house again. To the point where she’s actually looking at apartments for us. This fact had no effect on my sister. My mom has to pay only a few hundred dollars less in child support for my sister every month than what our mortgage is.

My sister doesn’t understand why I’m “punishing” her for living with my dad, because she’s “not him just because I live with him”. I told her that by living with him she’s supporting his decisions and empowering him, because he’s using her to get to us. “I just don’t see it that way” was her response. She also can’t just “up and leave” and move back here because it would ruin the relationship she’s worked hard to build with him. She said that every relationship she’s ever had with anyone is constantly spent “fixing”. She said it took every bit of energy she had out of her, to which I responded that that was something I’ve never needed to do. I have a hard time feeling sorry for her when she “breaks” every relationship she has. If you’re consistently making bad choices, I’m not going to feel sorry for you for making bad choices. The fact that we had to fix our relationship was also one of her reasons for not moving back, because I refuse to try and fix it otherwise. I don’t need her in my life and I refuse to support her decision to live with someone who would so actively try and hurt her and her family. I explained to her that I felt talking to her was a form of support. Because it is. Sympathizing about her problems down there and how hard her life is is comforting and supportive. I’m not interested in helping her struggle to change someone who won’t change and who is hurting me all the while.

Anyway, long story short, my sister is as thick headed and (although in denial about it apparently) as selfish as she has always been, and she won’t be moving home because it is too hard a thing for her to do as it will require more “fixing” on her part. She clings to everything, despite how bad or difficult to live with it may be. Girl is gonna be an absolute train wreck when she marries the spitting image of our dad. Oh, speaking of train wrecks, I had my best friend M over to watch Dawson’s Creek (they reference it so much on Will and Grace [which M finally bought the complete series of!] that we had to sit down and watch a few episodes) and my sister and one of her friends come home. I honestly told M to prepare herself, because this particular friend is a bit of a mess of a person, but even with my warning M was still completely blown away by the tornado that blew through my house. My sister and her friend came in, loud as can be, yammering on about god knows what, and suddenly my sister bends over so her friend can dry hump her, right in our dinning room (her friend is a girl half my sisters size mind). My sister then straightens up and they continue shouting and laughing about whatever and make it down to my sisters room at the end of the house where they start shouting about “dicks”. My friend and I had to struggle to keep ourselves quite as we laughed ourselves to tears at the absolute white-trash chaos that my sister and her friend were. Honestly, I would need a whole other post to properly explain the mess that these two girls were, and even then I’d really have to show you a few pictures to give you a proper idea.

Anyway. My mom’s talking about moving us into a couple of apartments (she found some that are so cheap she could pay for two of them and still not be paying what our mortgage is), and we’ll probably move by the end of the year. I might move into my aunts house, or even my neighbors. They offered to pay for my schooling when I was talking to them about potentially paying for my classes a little late (due to a misunderstanding with the school) and they would love to have me live with them. They claim to have adopted me as their grandson (they have none of their own) and it’s to the point where I can’t even go outside because they’ll come over and bother me, even in the middle of my homework. I could also move in with my aunt… we’ll see how it goes. Moving into an apartment with 3 dogs would not be fun though.

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