My memory is starting to fail again. I’ve been forgetting large portions of conversations, appointments, even the fact that I’ve got school to go to. I have class twice a day on Monday’s. I knew it was Monday; I planned on going to talk to my teacher about the transit of Venus happening tomorrow. Completely forgot I had class today. Despite it being Monday and my having plans for what I’d do in class ON MONDAY. Loosing ones memory is not fun.

Speaking of which, I can’t remember if I’ve ever done a proper post about my best friend M. In short: she is the Grace Adler to my Will Truman. We’re basically younger versions of Will and Grace. Anyway, we went for a walk together today. She’s a total fire sign, and constantly needs to be busy or she gets depressed (and being busy really does help me too I find). I got to her house and there was a purple finch hopping around on 1 foot, because the other looked like it had been slammed in a door or something. It was missing feathers on its wing too, so it couldn’t even fly. It was so sad. We put it in a shoebox and gave it some food and water, but eventually let it go again because watching it slowly die wasn’t something we’re capable of. Animals dying is really something I’m nooooot ok with watching. I really do need to be a vegetarian…

After the walk I went home and did a bunch of math homework, and then headed over to my aunts to put the roof and bottom board on the hive over there. My aunt and cousin invited me to stay the night for dinner, so I did. We talked a little about my sister, who had counseling tonight, which is why my mom was away for the evening (she likes to go down and have dinner with her before her session) and why I was free to eat dinner elsewhere. My aunt said “good for you” in regards to me telling my sister what my dad was really doing. She was glad I told my sister what was what, since no one else was going to. She’s the first person in the family to tell you if she thinks you’re being a complete idiot, and makes sure to make you feel like a complete idiot as a result. So- I’m just taking this praise with a pinch of salt, and acknowledging that it may not be coming from the most unbiased of sources. That said, its still nice to know that I’m not completely alone in thinking my sister is wrong in selling us out for fancy things and weekend getaways.

After I got home from all that, I did a bunch more homework and eventually my mom asked if I wanted to go to the King Tut exhibit at the science center. We’d been planning on going to this for months, but the fact that she asked me after just receiving a text alerted me to the possibility that this would involve my sister. Which, of course, it did. I refused to go with her, so now my mom is going to go with her instead of me. We’ve been planning on going for months, but my sister asks and suddenly I’m dropped like a hot potato. I love where I rank in this family. Never mind I’m the good kid. Never mind I’ve been taking care of my mother for the last however many weeks it’s been since she broke her foot. Never mind I keep up the house and do the yard work. It’s the pot and cigarette smoking, drug dealing, underage/illegal belly-ring-getting, drama addict daughter that gets all the attention. My motivation for being good is what again? Cause clearly being a train wreck of a person is the better route to go. Both the parents prefer you, you get to treat your family like shit and have it be overlooked because you’re “a 16 year old girl who isn’t concerned with anyone but herself”, as this excuses all your actions. All I’d have to do is forget my morals, treat everyone like dirt, and think of only myself and I’d be set for life.

And I suppose I’m a bitch for saying all that stuff, but oh well. In my group of friends I’m “the brutally honest bitch”. At least I’m honest.

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