What I didn’t tell you about this weekend was that my mom was teaching a reki class, which I was apart of. I’m never good at describing reki; I usually just say its energy work, and when people look at me funny I call it ‘woo woo’ and leave it at that. Basically you use the energy from the earth and the universe to heal/better yourself, and meditate while connected to these forces to gain understanding. All of the posts I wrote this weekend were ‘heat of the moment’ things, and as a result are more hurtful and full of rage than anything. These last two days of classes allowed me to meditate on things and, while I haven’t completely forgiven my sister, I was able to get much farther along in the process of forgiving her. I’m just having a hard time not blaming her for everything, because she caused this whole situation, and she continues to live with her dad (I tried my best to disconnect myself from him in my meditations, if only to move on and be a healthier person) even though he does these things, and because she refuses to move back to stop all of it. It’s hard not to take it personally when your only sibling is basically treating you like dirt and continues to show that she would rather live with a man who treats you worse than dirt, than with you. I mean really, how do you not take that personally?

So, after hours of meditation, I think all the initial anger has simmered down/away. I’m trying hard not to hold a grudge against her. I think a lack of contact between us would be best for a few years until she comes to her senses. I simply can’t have someone as poisonous as her in my life. Family is family, but in the end I’ll have to do what’s best for me, and if that means I have to let her go then I’m willing to do it. I’ve grown out of my desire for drama in the last few years, and try to avoid it at all costs. As a result I have very few friends, but we hardly ever fight or argue, and my life is almost always peaceful because of it. I value serenity very highly in my life and protect it at all costs. I am happiest alone, on a sunny day, where I can watch the bugs flying, and hear the birds chirping and the bees buzzing.

Anyway, in other news, Sam and Kira got to stay the weekend at my aunt’s house. We didn’t want them causing trouble by barking during the reki class. Buttercup would’ve stayed at my aunt’s as well, but she was little over stimulated by the puppy my aunt has, and got extremely grumpy after just a few minutes with him. So we brought her back home with us after taking all the dogs to be dropped off, and she did pretty ok during the class. Her breeder was one of the other students and Buttercup definitely remembered her. She was all over her and giving her kisses, which she only ever does to me. The other two dogs seemed to enjoy themselves, but Sam was definitely worn out by the weekend. Poor old guy. We’re not sure how old he is, but he’s got to be at least 13. He’s gray all over the place and since his legs are both bad he’s slowed down a lot. I think the running and fresh air did him some good though. I’m sure he’ll spend the next few days sleeping.

My last thing of note is that I’ve ordered a Warre hive, and it should be here no later than Tuesday! I’ll tell you how I split my current hive after I’ve done it and it’ll be on my bee blog. If you’re lucky I may even get some picures!

OH! And after we were done with class today, a bee landed on my hand and proceded to lick it for some minutes. It wasn’t a honey bee, it was a darker colored bee with lighter and more defined stripes on its thorax. I got a few pictures of it because it was so calm I was able to go into the house and get my camera. I was spraying crab grass when it landed on my hand and it didn’t seem to care that I was busy doing anything. It slowly worked its way around my hand, even though I basically ignored it and continued using both my hands to work the weed killer pump. Silly girl. I’ll post a picture tomorrow when I have more time, I promise! I found it really funny though, because during my meditation I asked what I was supposed to be doing with my life, and I was told to do what I loved (taking care of plants and animals). So here I am, having just been told to be nice to the world at large and take care of things, and as soon as I’m out the door a bee lands on me. If that’s not a confirmation of things, I don’t know what is.

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