I just signed on to my email and I had received word from a beekeeper that he might have a package available for me today! But I got it on Friday and now I don’t know if it’s too late. I feel as though I’ve got something trapped in my chest and keep clutching at my throat and sternum as if to pull this feeling of loss and hope right out of me. I would hate myself if I lost the opportunity to have bees this year simply because I was too lazy to sign on to the computer Friday night or yesterday (though it really was too nice out to be on the computer) and thus missed my chance. I PRAY B will have enough bees to spare some for me as well. He’s got to more than double his colonies to do that for me though, so I don’t know if it will work.

I figured I’d explain my dramatic side, since I’m sure you’ve all become painfully aware of it as you’ve read my blog. I’m horribly relaxed in person. I almost never raise my voice or get excited. When I found out I was accepted for the people to people program I had to force myself to seem more excited. To be honest I don’t remember being excited about going to Japan when I was accepted for that in 7th grade. It takes quite a lot to get more than a shocked expression from me for a reaction. Showing emotion is something I’ve become less and less adept at as the years wear on. Internally I take a little while to be excited about things, and once I am I’m usually kind of a freak about it. Tonight for instance. Do people normally clutch at their chest and come close to tears when something they dream for could be denied to them? In reality? No. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself. I mean seriously. Who else does the weird things I do? 98% of it unintentionally.

Anyway. Yesterday was spent out in the yard. We’ve got blue orchard mason bees in the neighborhood which is awesome. And honeybees were collecting pollen from the bluebells we have scattered everywhere. I finally broke down and got some plant poison. As bad as I know it is for the environment, I have to say it was really nice to spray all the grass that’s growing everywhere and see it brown within minutes. The dogs were forced to spend most of the day inside unfortunately (as was I to keep them from tearing things apart) but I think it was worth it. It will save days of work and get rid of most of the major problem areas in the yard. I was thinking I would use the spray on the lawn too. I’d just spray a patch of the lawn I wanted to convert into a raised bed, to eliminate the chance of grass coming up threw the beds, and then pile all the topsoil on top of it. It’d save a ton of time, and even though the lawn has very little nutrients in it, the layer beneath is ALL sand and has virtually nothing, so the extra few inches would be nice.

Today it rained, and it’s supposed to rain for the rest of the week unfortunately. I’m sick of the rain. I would be fine if it rained during the night and then was 70 during the day, but otherwise it’s annoying. It’s spring! Things are supposed to be vibrant and lively and buzzing, not tinged with grey and cold and dreary.

*sigh* anyway. I didn’t really talk about my dramatic self as much as I intended but that how all of my posts go. I’ve got home work to do anyway so I’ll ttyl.