OK. I am the worst procrastinator ever. That essay that was due Friday? The one I was supposed to have been working on for the last couple weeks? It was actually due today. And I still haven’t done the first half of the project to even begin working on the essay. The worst part? I have virtually no motivation to do this project at all. If I don’t do it though my grade will be an F for this quarter. It’s so irritating. I don’t know why I have absolutely no drive to do this. I sat at home for HOURS today with plenty of time to do it. I know that I should do it, but the more I think about needing to do it, the less and less my body wants to get up to go do it. It’s ridiculous. And I finally actually looked at the assignment and found that it has to be a minimum of 4 pages. I’m still debating whether I should bother. The end of the quarter is Friday. UGGGGH. I hate my lack of motivation. I don’t understand why it is that doing this is so difficult for me. It’s not a difficult paper! The prompt is “evaluate the effectiveness and impact of the checks and balance system during the FDR administration including events and people involved in FDR’s “court Pacling” controversy. Easy right? I could’ve done this in my sleep freshman year. I think this might have to do with my lack of reading. The only bit of writing I do all day is this right here. Everything else is pretty much… well- I don’t really DO anything during the day. I have nothing challenging me, nothing to look forward to, nothing to drive me; nothing. There’s nothing in my life at the moment. Except this stupid essay. *Sigh*

I really need a project. Something with my hands. I want to be done with school so I can get a job and go out and DO something every day. I need a job where I can see what I’ve done at the day. I couldn’t handle being behind a desk or counter or something. I don’t get a sense of accomplishment from that. I would be fine working for the city as a part of the city maintenance or something. I wonder if you need an AA to do that…

My chem. class was… nothing really. We spent about 30 min going over the syllabus and then we got to leave early. My teacher has a really thick Indian accent that was a little unclear at times, but for the most part I’m hopping I’ll be ok with the text book. which I went and got after class. And two of my Botany books arrived in the mail today. I still need one of the required books though. The required book I have now looks amazing. Except for the fact that it’s new. The pages are too white. It’s one of those books that should be yellowed from age and have little notes scribbled in the margins. I really like it. It’s just an identification guide though, so I can’t really read through it early or anything.

I’m definitely on an egg kick. I came home from high school and made myself two eggs, easy side up, and two pieces of toast. We’re almost out of eggs again though. I need chickens! I’m tempted to just get some and then make a makeshift hut outside until I can make the actual cob house. That way they’ll be grown just in time to live in their proper house. Plus, chicks are adorable.

I’m going to bed now because I didn’t get a nap today and if I stay up any longer I’m going to force myself to finish this stupid essay. Which I’m either going to do tomorrow or not do at all.