This is why I need to work in the agricultural industry. Or anything involving the movement of dirt and plants. I really only feel as though I’ve accomplished something when I stop at the end of my day and look at rows of over turned earth, knowing that in a few weeks new life will be growing from it. I can write a four page essay and not feel like I’ve done anything except waste a day of my life. But going outdoors and pulling out weeds and pulling off the dead bean and tomato vines and pruning the roses really brings a sense of accomplishment for me.

I really want to go to France Italy and Greece, this summer. I just don’t know if I’m going to be able to raise the money in time. I’ve got a thousand dollar payment due this week. I only have $200. As of right now I still have to raise $4,839. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. That’s over $1000 a month. It’s just not possible. Even if I got a full time job, I couldn’t do it. My dad just had surgery, so I’d feel really bad asking him for help. Even if we do the bunko idea, I don’t think we’ll be able to raise enough. My sister said she’d help pay for it… I think I just need to go ask my dad if I can take the money I’ve got in the bank account he’s set up for me. ugh. I hate money. I wish everything was just a bartering system. I would love to be able to trade a dozen goats to be able to go. *sigh* I wasn’t meant for this millennia at all. I should be back I don’t even know when, in some unknown corner of the world, herding cattle and sheering sheep and growing crops. I hate the city. With it’s bright lights and various noises and horrible smelling air. I’d love to be out in the middle of the country. On the wide open grass lands. Maybe not SO wide open. A river and some trees would be nice. With a little cottage made of dirt and a real stone fireplace…

Today was just warm enough that the top few inches of dirt melted and I was able to dig things up in the sunny areas. I never realized how nice it is having a week free of class during mid winter. This is when you’re supposed to do all your farming stuff. I weeded and pruned and planted today. We went to Lowes for more insulation, since the three roles of eco-friendly recycled denim we got yesterday were half of what we needed. While I was outside in the yard my mom wrapped up the vent in the attic. So far I haven’t noticed any change in the house. If anything I’d say the furnace has been coming on more. The dogs were happy to be outside with me though. Kira and Buttercup chased each other around for a good hour or so. Of course that wasn’t really enough; Kira still pestered my mom and I while we watched The Office tonight. The only way to get her to be REALLY tired is if you take her for a mile long walk. Twice a day. If you walk her too soon then she will nap and have too much energy before bed. If you walk her too late then you’ve got to be bothered by her all day. I really don’t know where this little dog gets all her energy. I would love to have half the energy she does. I almost had to take a nap today. And that was before I’d really even gotten anything done.

My sister left with my aunt, cousin, and his friend for Oregon today. She won’t be back until Wednesday, via the train. Maybe we’ll go see my dad then…

Despite the warm sun, the bees never made it out of the hive for more than a few seconds today. There was just too much cold northern wind. Which was perfect for me because I was able to work in jeans, a T-shirt and some crocks with socks. Yep. I really just said that. The gloves my mom got me are awesome. They’ve got leather for the palms of the hands so I was able to grab the stems of the roses while I was pruning without stabbing my hand to death. Of course, the backs of the fingers were just cloth so I still had my fair share of pricks.

We had to go back to Lowes to get more insulation, and they had some cute little garden-in-a-box type things. We got the butterfly garden. It had the “gay” flower in it, which we already have, but the butterfly’s really do like it so I figured some more couldn’t hurt. I planted the little garden in front of the cherry tree in the front lawn. The gay flower, some purple phlox, and one other thing. I can’t remember.

Anyway, I’m tired. And just rambled on about I don’t know what for too long. Good night.

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