I’ve been neglecting my responsibility to this blog. I’m supposed to document my life. All aspects of it. I’ve been leaving out all the inside jokes between my family, and the little weirdo’s that are my babies. First, some inside jokes.

“Your stairs are broken.” My sister and I say this to each other allll the time. We came up with it because of the saying “there’s nothing upstairs.” So instead of not having anything upstairs, your stairs are broken, meaning you couldn’t even get up the stairs to begin with and you’re completely wacko.

“Hoarding whore horse herm.” My sister calls me this lol. She thinks I’m a hoarder. She thinks I have horse teeth (which I do not, they’re just larger than her little chipmunk teeth). She likes to call me a whore. And, since I don’t hang out with friends nearly as much as she does, I am a hermit. Which is kind of true I think. I own up to being a hoarder lol. The day J had her Bitch and Switch I took home all of her wine corks because I can use them to make a floating thing to feed the bees. And they’re a fun collectable. Lmao.

“Poop ina bag!” My sister and J use this whenever they think someone’s acting especially like a hoarder. We all watched an episode of Hoarders where a woman’s toilet had stopped working so she started pooping in bags and managed to fill several closets and cover her stairs completely before the health department said she needed to clean up the mess or the house would be demolished.

“OH NOOO.” My sister says this allll the time. It’s hilarious. It means exactly what it says. We say it to each other all the time if we’ve been asked to do something or someone said something that was bizarre.

“Do work.” It’s not original but my sister uses it all the time. It means “to get shit done”, sometimes literally. My sister will often say “I’ma go do work in the bathroom.” Yes, I really just told you that. lol.

“Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” I say this most of the time, but pretty much everyone (my mom, sister and J) uses it. We usually use this if someone’s out of line.

“giiirl, you make my neck move” *followed by head circling/neck movement* Used by me and J mostly but occasionally my sister as well. Again used when something ridiculous is said or someone is out of control.

That’s all I can remember for now, but I’m pretty sure there’s more. I’ll write them down if I think of anymore. Now, the dogs.

Buttercup is a freak. She roo’s whenever you come home (though almost never at me unless she’s telling me someone’s here). She also WILL NOT tolerate anyone by her while she’s eating (or food is in her dish and she’s sitting by it), if she’s getting lovins or if she’s been sleeping. She’ll even growl at us if we wake her up while she’s sleeping. She’s my sister in dog form to a T. lol. If she gets really excited when she see’s me she’ll shove my entire nose into her mouth lol. She will sometimes do this when I’m just waking up. Really fun way to wake up. Suffocating because a dog is eating your nose.

Kira is a mommy to everyone in the house except Buttercup. She “brushes” Sammy’s teeth at least twice a day. She also cleans his eyes and nose. She comes and checks on everyone all the time and DEMANDS tummy rubs and someone to play fetch with her as payment for her “pilot fish” services. She will often follow you around at the heel of you foot. Sometimes she’ll try and sniff the back of your pant leg while you walk which means that at every other step her tiny little nose runs into your leg. I don’t even notice is hardly anymore but it’s really cute. If you stop and turn around and look at her after she’s run into you she just looks up and waggles at you like “what did I do?” in the CUTEST way.

Sam is the blob-protector of the house. He’s big and in the way most of the time. If you need to go somewhere, he’s usually standing in your way. If you try and go around him he will move into your pathway on purpose. Annoying to everyone, but I’m the only one who actually pets him because of it. He’s usually sleeping on my bed, my couch, or in front of the front door. When we first moved in he would lie at the top of my stairs (which he still does) and wake me up before my mom as able to. His thumping tail always gave my mom away. He doesn’t do it anymore though. But he is the loudest sleeper. He snores, runs, wags his tail, and barks while sleeping. He loves to be right in peoples faces, which is REALLY annoying most of the time, but pretty cute when you sit down on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you. He will usually stand over top of your legs and then look back at you, tail wagging, so you know (incase it wasn’t obvious) that he wants attention. Makes me laugh every time he does it.

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