I really need to get back into energy work. I’ve been missing it a little. And it’s been seeping into my daily life more and more. A few weeks ago my friend and I were talking and I managed to describe a person she had been talking about to her (without her telling me first of course) and then later in the conversation I was able to predict almost every single word we were going to say for almost five minutes. It was ridiculous. She always brings out the “woo woo” in me. And then last night even, J has been having more and more pains in her arms, shoulders and back. My mom and John did a bit of energy work on her, and it made me miss doing it as well. I’ve fallen so far out of the habit of doing it I have trouble doing it at all anymore though. Maybe I’ll ask my mom if I can borrow some of her tapes. I know she’s got a few tapes, and several CD’s. There’s got to be some kind of helpful information in there right? You know what; I’m going to ask her tomorrow. I’m not going to just brush this off. I WILL ask her tomorrow.

On a much less… sophisticated (?), spiritual (?), relevant (?) note, J and I got into a bit of a… something today, lol. I don’t know what you’d call it, but here’s what happened. She’s been planning on moving her ex-husband’s old bed over to her house so she could put it downstairs all week. My mom and I pulled weeds all day today. We got hungry at some point, and came in for a little break. Of course we needed to turn on the TV, and what should be on but a documentary on Killer bees/ bees with no stingers/ old fashioned hives fashioned out of tree trunks. I had to watch that. And then after that was a documentary on killer ants. Ants have always fascinated me. Before I got a hive, I had (or I attempted to have) an ant farm. My only problem was that I wanted a queen. They don’t sell those for some odd reason… something to do with spreading different invasive species or some other such factual nonsense. Anyway, my mom went back outside after she finished eating, and then needed my help once the bee show was over. I watched the first five minutes of the ant show as well, but she didn’t mind.

I had just stepped outside when J calls me. She needs help moving the bed. You know, I really didn’t have a problem helping her move it, it’s just that wasn’t what I had intended to do with my day, and it’s always kind of annoying that J assumes that I can just help her whenever she needs me. I half heartedly hinted at agreeing to help, and said I would ask my mom. My mom made me feel guilty because I wasn’t helping her weed, and I knew that at that point if I helped J it would cause trouble later on with my mom. So on J’s way out the door I told her I wouldn’t be able to help her today. I said I needed to stay home and get some yard work done first. She wasn’t too happy about it but she “understood”. Then of course I start feeling guilty because I’ve ditched J. I continued weeding for several hours, and then once we were in for the night I texted J.

Me: “you aren’t mad at me are you?” J: “no” Me: “ok, I don’t want you to be mad at me. I felt guilty about the whole situation. I was either going to feel guilty about helping you and not my mom, or I was going to feel guilty about helping my mom and ditching you after I had already kind of agreed to it. And I would’ve been in more trouble if I ditched my mom.” (Yes, that was all one text message) J: “I understand” Me: you can tell me if you’re mad. Clearly you’re not too happy about it.” J: “I understand. I just get frustrated that I can’t do certain things with my body. I wasn’t sure the reason you passed, but I understand.” Me: “being injured takes a lot out of you. You just need to go easy on your activities and try not to internalize problems. Your shoulder/arm is as much physical as it is emotional. My mom kind of made me feel guilty because I wasn’t helping her, and then after I declined to help you she made me feel even guiltier about not helping you, lol. I’d be wiling to help you later this week. Short notice is hard for me. I’n usually not doing anything, but, like today, if it’s not a planned event it causes trouble.” (yes, I know, I text freaking novels.)  J: “k. Thanks”

I really didn’t need to apologize for anything, but I felt bad about the situation. After her annoyingly short responses though, I was pretty much done with all of it and felt like I had done my bit to try and fix the situation. J didn’t know that my sister had already told me that she would be helping J tomorrow with the bed when I offered to helper her later this week. It’s foolish of J to think that my sister’s going to be home ready and waiting when J gets off work though. Already tonight my sister was talking about not being able to make it. *rolls eyes*. I’ll tell you right now though, I’m not going to help J tomorrow if she calls. It’s not ok for her to call me last minute like that. And besides, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mom’s making me do my homework early so she can force me to do a bit of driving.

I’m going to look back on this post in a few years and laugh.