I seriously believe that I’m the worst student in my math class. My teacher immediately began calling on me to answer the practice test questions when class started. My name was literally the ONLY name he said the entire period. He asked me to explain what several things meant, all of which I had no idea how to do. The third time he asked me I paused to think about it, and he said “go ahead, say ‘I don’t know’ again”. I babbled some half answer which got him to leave me alone long enough for me to write a note to my shoulder partner saying “I’m not retarded, I just don’t understand.” She laughed, and said once again how he only calls on me. The fourth time I was called on I was asked to go up in front of the class and solve an entire problem by myself. It was just a different set of numbers, but virtually exactly the same problem we had just done. I managed not to screw that up too horribly, but there were several places I was unsure about.

My biggest issue is that we’re being taught how to do something using a certain operating system. We aren’t actually learning anything about the meaning of any of these symbols or equations, or how to do them without a $120 calculator. Instead we’re learning to memorize which combinations of buttons to press after we’ve put in all the data. I honestly don’t see how any of what we’ve learned (and we’re still just reviewing Algebra 1-2 stuff, because none of us really remembered how to do any of this) makes a difference to the rest of the world. I hate useless math. I’m the type of person that needs to understand why I’m doing something. If I don’t see how it’s going to improve my life or better me in someway, or see it’s purpose at all, I have a REALLY hard time learning it because I’m too preoccupied trying to find the reason for all the work I’m doing. The test is tomorrow. I’m still as lost as ever. My teacher expects 50 points (that’d be 100%) out of me tomorrow. I’d be grateful for if I got 15. Pray for me!

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