I completely forgot but orientation is tomorrow. Kill me now. I hate school. I hate it. I get a stomach ache just thinking about it. Spending 6 hours a day in a building filled with people who hate me. I don’t want to go. Maybe THIS will be enough motivation to get my license. I did actually scan through the drivers guide today. I’ve decided I’m going to do full time at the college. I’m doing botany and an English class. As well as physics. I have too many science requirements. I figure, might as well take as many as I can. And English is so easy; I might as well get that done with. I don’t know how I’m going to get to college though, seeing to the fact that without a license I’ve got to take the hour bus ride everyday. I just need to get my license. I need to get over my fear of driving and get my license and car so that I can drive myself to and from college. You’d think that would be easy right?

While I was outside reading the drivers guide, a disgustingly odd shaped, enormous bug flew towards me. I could hear its wings, which made a odd humming noise, as well as the sound of paper hitting paper. It almost went inside, but thankfully it decided against it and landed on the water iris. Once it was still I saw it was actually a pair of matting dragon flies. It was such an odd sight; I always forget their tails are important. I took it as a sign that getting my license was a good thing, and then about two minutes later a hummingbird starting eating from the lobelia. I took that as a double good sign. Which is annoying because I don’t WANT to get it. Plenty of people never get their license. And then there are all the logical reasons as to why I shouldn’t get it. I could get in an accident and die. Or worse, I could get in an accident and become permanently disabled. I could get in an accident, become disabled, and kill others in the process. By driving I’m slowly committing murder anyway. I’m killing the planet. Urgh. If only I lived closer to the college.

My mom is sick. I don’t know with what, but she came home today and looked absolutely dreadful. The whites of her eyes were a disgusting grey yellow color. Her skin was paste. She couldn’t stop yawning and went to bed within five minutes of getting in the door. She said she was freezing, and was visibly shaking, despite it being over 80 degrees. She’s been asleep since she got home; she didn’t even have dinner. Coincidentally, she’s taking a week off starting tomorrow to get us ready for school. Did I mention I don’t want to go? I hate it when my mom’s sick though. It’s… a weird feeling to explain. I feel like a little kid again, and I’ve suddenly got to fend for myself, as well as nurse my (dying [that’s automatically how it feels}) mother back to health. I hate it. For dinner tonight my sister and I made tater-tots and a Greek salad. We’re running low on food though, and only had a little bit of dressing left, so it was a plain, thin, salad.

I feel like we’ve been running low on food for a while now. If we ever go grocery shopping we walk to the Safeway a block away and only get a few things. We’ve got two loaves of bread, but we’re out of jelly. We’ve got two cartons of milk, but we’re almost out of cereal. We’ve been out of liquid soap for weeks, and just keep stretching it out by adding water. My aunt who was over for the garage sale had to bring us some of her soap because she couldn’t stand using the thin stuff. My mom’s been saying how we’re low on cash. We have to go to a cheaper hair place to afford our school stuff, and we haven’t even bought anything yet. This is going to be a TOUGH school year, I can tell already. Are you guys up to reading a new sob story everyday? Lol.