Sorry, I intended to write this about half an hour ago, but for whatever reason I decided to look through some old posts and ended up skimming through several months. I forget how much I write. I seriously feel like counting the number of words on this blog. It’s probably some hideously long number. SHOOT! I meant to start writing my book again! I had a dream last night that I was in a garden, and there were these cute little purple flowers (which I saw in my yard yesterday) and from these flowers came bee-people. I’m not going into details about it, because I’m going to include them in my book and I don’t want someone taking the idea. Last nights dream was really strange though. I can’t remember all of it. I do know that at one point I was flying off to battle with several different sized shovels as weapons. In a different dream, or maybe before or maybe after that in the same dream, I was bawling my eyes out over some painted figurine. *sigh* I cry a lot in my dreams. I mean, sob-my-heart-out cry. I don’t cry like that in real life nearly as often, if ever.
So I have some… news I guess we’ll call it, about my sister. Apparently Friday night, or whenever she spent the night at her future husbands house after his birthday party, she got high and did some things. She got so high she started vomiting and blacked out. and apparently while she was in this state, she and the guy… started messing around. She couldn’t remember everything until today. She wants to get that high again too, but doesn’t want to get on birth control. Ugh, why is she doing all this. How is what she doing better than reality? I mean honestly. Blacking out and risking becoming pregnant and adding MORE trouble to your life is better than facing what you’ve already got? I don’t get it. And what people forget (or rather, don’t know about me) is that I’ve been depressed for YEARS. I’ve considered suicide since I was 11. How is that even possible?
How is it that an ELEVEN year old doesn’t want to live anymore? That’s not right. It doesn’t make sense. I’m surprised I’ve made it to 16, to be honest. Coming in contact with people is enough to send me over the edge. It’s come to the point where people don’t even have to glare at me or anything; I just automatically start hating myself for them. Ugh, I hate it. but anyway, this post is about my sister. Oh, I forgot to mention. Apparently she’s been sent a picture of one of her guy friends. He took it himself. And you know what I mean about a PICTURE. I guess he sent it to her a while ago, but I only just heard about it tonight.
Ok, I’ve got too much to tell you about today, so I’m done talking about her. Sorry this looks so jumpy, but if I were to write down my entire thought process, this would be a novel. I’ve told you I have the ability to talk about one thing while think about something else right? Well, if I have, you’ve been told twice. Now, let’s talk about the garage sale. There were a lot more people today. However, we made only $40. Suckish, but it got the crap out of our garage. While we were doing the garage sale, there was a christening going on over at the church. They had a hot tub outside because the people were all full grown. I dunno, just felt the need to mention it. After the garage sale was pretty much finished, my sister and I went over and played Mario kart with J. She managed to convince one of her nephews to play, so we raced him for a while. He only one once or twice. His older brother is supposed to be a lot better. I wanted to play the both of them, two on two, but it didn’t work out this time.
Once we went back home, F and S talked about going to Thai for dinner. About five minutes later I get a text from J saying she’s hungry and was thinking about Thai. So we decided to all go out to dinner at my favorite Thai place down the street. J even had her roommate come along (she just moved in today). Her name is D. Do you think I’m able to remember that? No. We had lots of fun at dinner though, and she seems really cool (she had a good feel about her) so I think we’ll get along. If not, she’s only staying for a year. Or at least, that’s all that’s official at the moment.