Ugh, I hate my life. It’s so annoyingly complicated. I suppose I’ve brought this on myself, but it’s still annoying. I felt a random urge to tell my sister how I felt about her using drugs. I spent almost two hours texting her, while narrating the entire thing to S who I happened to be talking with when the discussion with my sister picked up. I think I’ll just type the whole conversation up, so you know the context of things. The conversation will be relayed without editing, so the conversation remains unedited. Everything below is word for word what was said.

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After two grueling hours I typed almost the entire conversation. I became too tired to continue anymore and the entire thing took up two pages without even being double spaced. So I’m saving you the reading. You’re welcome.

However, I’ve got to finish typing it all up and send it to my mom, who I let read the messages because my sister admitted to possibly being addicted to pot. Now my mom is considering sending us all to counseling. My sister for being a crazy party girl and me for me for the complete opposite. I don’t want to go to counseling. I hate talking. My thoughts become scrambled as I try to arrange what I want to say and how I sat it and then get my tongue to convey the message. I have a much clearer head when I can type it out. And rearrange my words so the sentence flows better and gets my message across quicker. PLUS, I already know pretty much everything that’s wrong with me, and what I need to do to fix it. I’ve done a bit of self examining with all my free time.

Basically, I don’t like going out places because it was always stressful as a kid. I hate driving because every other day for four years I spent two hours in the car. I… I’ve forgotten what all is wrong with me, but believe me I’ve got a list.

My mom was mad/glad that I told my sister what I thought. I was in trouble because I called her stupid several times, which is a major issue for her, but my mom liked the fact that I was being honest. Ok I’m way too tired. I can’t keep my thoughts in order anymore, and two hours of translating texts to the computer is very draining at 1 am.

Basically, my day was leisurely. I spent all of it outside. I was a little stiff and didn’t want to move too much, so I read. I talked with S, and explained everything to her about my sister. I have a feeling I’ll be going down with my mom to get her from my dads tomorrow. I’d really rather not go. I went out to dinner with F and S again since my mom was at her bosses boss’s going away party until 9:30. F referenced me as their son teasingly. At least if they adopted me I wouldn’t have to deal with the drama at my house.

Only two more days until I get my bees!

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