Sorry this is so late. My mom and I started a free trial with Netflix, and couldn’t stop watching TV. We watched 10 Things I Hate About You (the movie) and then watched the first two episodes of Weeds. It’s actually really funny. Certainly not for people under the age of 15, but it’s funny. Urgh! I hate having to pee late at night! If I go to the bathroom now, I won’t have to go until much later in the day tomorrow. Plus it’s wayyy too quiet. I don’t like it if people can hear me going to the bathroom. I NEED noise or I can’t go. If it’s too quiet during the day, I usually turn on the TV, then the fireplace and THEN I can go to the bathroom. I also hate it if people are close to the bathroom when I’m going. Using the bathroom is a very private affair for me. I don’t know why, it just sort of always has.

Anyway, today was really irritating. My mom seemed to wake up in a bad mood. Everything I said was wrong or stupid, and everything I wanted to do was out of the question. The day revolved around getting my sisters computer online (even though she’s not even here; she’s at my dads) so that put me in a bad mood. If my sister isn’t motivated to get her room done, why should I be? My mom and I were pretty much irritated with each other all day, and I came seriously close to just screaming at her. I’ve never actually got into it with my mother before, but today was very close to changing that. For instance, we have some milk that is close to its expiration date, and I wanted to make some yogurt because we need to get rid of it. My mom basically told me I was stupid all day, and wouldn’t even elaborate on what we needed to do for it. She wouldn’t talk to me about it until I had done 40 hours of research online, and had a flipping degree in culinary arts. What did we have to loose from making yogurt!! I may not be too exciting, but at least I’m cheep and commit to what I want to do.

My sister wanted to join a gym. $300 dollars later, we were members. We haven’t gone more than 30 times in the last three years. And you have to renew the membership every year. All I wanted to do was have some fun with a bit of yogurt for Christ sake! So what if I couldn’t fully remember how to make it at the time I wanted to do it. And beekeeping! I’ve spent years wanting a beehive, and have done days worth of research. I’ve talked with beekeepers and asked questions. But I’m not allowed to get one. WHY?! There’s no reason NOT to. I’m not going to be “off to college” in a few years. I probably won’t even be out of the house until I’m 25. I’d pay for everything; I wouldn’t even have to go to the bank to pay for it all. We never actually talked about the beehive today, but I really wanted to. Finally it got to the point though where I just needed to get away from her. Since she wasn’t going anywhere, and I certainly wasn’t going anywhere, I took a nap. I slept for over three hours in the hopes of making time pass a bit more quickly.

We were going to go and look at pond liners today also. She’s been telling me “no, we can’t afford it” but when my sister wants to go spend god knows how much money to completely redecorate her room and repaint the walls (even though my moms done all the work) it’s ok. A pond would not be expensive at all. I can get pond liner from my aunt and digging a hole isn’t a problem. All my mom would have to pay for would be the water. She wants to put a pump in too, but that’s her own gig. I just want a water feature for the wildlife. Again, I’ve wanted one for years. I’ve researched what to do and how to do it. I’ve spent time considering how everything will look once it’s done. This isn’t just some stupid whim that I won’t care about tomorrow; I actually want to DO it. I really wanted to tell my mom how annoying it is that she drops everything for my sister. My sister doesn’t even want to be here. Nothing my mom does is going to change that. She’s obsessed with how my dad is just trying to get at her by getting my sister to move in with him. She’s being kind of selfish about the whole thing. It’s true that my dad IS concerned with spiting my mother, but it’s just annoying hearing about it all the time. And if I tell her that I don’t want to hear about it anymore then I’ll feel bad because I’ll feel selfish.

I spent most of the day texting H. She and I have dry humor when we’re on the phone. Neither of us will ever say haha or lol, even though we’d be in hysterics if we were in person. It makes it funnier because we both sound serious via text. Which makes a lot of what we’re saying even more ridiculous. For example we were talking about the bathroom issue. ME: “I’m always worried someone’s going to walk in on me! I HAVE to lock the door.” HER: “but then what if you slip and fall and no one can get in to save you?” ME: “I don’t understand how people fall in. I may have no butt, but I have hips. I’m not so thin as to fall threw the toilet seat.” HER: “haha I didn’t mean fall in the toilet. I just meant in the shower or something.” ME: “I only go in the shower when I’m actually showering.” HER: “who does that? You’re weird 😛 I go in the shower all the time.” And we have so many inside jokes now that we can go threw entire conversations just building on the inside joke alone. Or we can create an entire set of new inside jokes in one conversation. She’s one of the few friends I have inside jokes with.

Ok I’ve written about a paragraph more than the norm, and it’s all a bunch of crap so I think I’ll be done for this evening. Good night! Or rather, good morning, afternoon, and evening! (depending on when you read this).

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