I felt a lot better as the day got going today. I woke up still pretty depressed (which is why I didn’t go to school today) but after a while I was in a good mood. I soaked some of the orchids (I forgot about them and then went out to dinner and came back and realized that they’d been sitting in water for about three hours. I’m hopping I didn’t kill any.) and did a bit of yard work as well. Not very much, but I was glad I did it. I don’t understand how it is that grass seed can travel UP hill. Oh well.

Some of you have mentioned that you’d like to see my yard as a whole, so here is the broadest picture I could take. I know you can’t see too much, but it’s the best I can do at the moment.

This is the view from my kitchen-sink window. It doesn’t seem like much when you look at it at a distance like this, but once you get up close and LOOK at everything, it starts to add up. These pictures really don’t do the yard justice.

Like I said before, my mood has greatly improved since yesterday. I think it’s mostly because I’m not around my sister. She depresses the hell out of me. Unfortunately, my mom wants’ to take us all to family counseling. I hate counseling (much as I think I need it) and having to sit with my mom and my sister and discuss my problems will not be a walk in the park. The problem isn’t what’s wrong with our family; it’s what’s wrong with us. Namely me. I’m pretty sure that I’m the main reason my sister doesn’t want to live here anymore. And I know I should feel bad about that, but I honestly don’t. I just don’t seem to care if she stays or if she goes. I know that makes her upset, but it’s how I feel and I’m tired of lying to make other people feel better.

Bleh, I’m exhausted. Somehow sleeping in until 10 didn’t help with energy levels. And I just had a huge bowl of Oreo-cookie ice-cream covered in honey. So I should be bouncing off the walls right now. Instead I’ve had to re-write about half of what I’ve written because I’m so tired I can’t tell what I’m typing. So I’m going to go to bed. If you see any mistakes in here, I apologize. I’m just too tired to care right now, lol.

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