Written 12:15 PM 3/20/10

Today, at least in Washington, is the first day of spring. A time of new beginnings and life and happiness right? And yet today is remorseful for our household. My cat lily, the one I bottle fed as a kitten, was hit by a car this morning. Sometime between 7:45 and 8:00.

Today I went to an informational meeting about Running Start, a program that allows high school students to attend college for free while they’re still attending high school. I was ready early, and excited to go, so we got out the door early. My mother and I step out the door just quickly enough to watch as a car runs over lily. They didn’t see her; she bolted across the street RIGHT in front of the car. If the car had been going even 1mph slower, Lilly would’ve been fine. She was hit by the front left wheel of the car, and on her backend no less. Stupid freaking cat. Her spine was completely broken, her body twisted awkwardly as she finished crossing the street.

She ran and hid underneath my mom’s car, and lay there yowling as my mom ran inside to get the crate to take her to the vet. I could smell her as she lay there. A smell I cannot describe; the smell of death. She yowled and yowled; a sound that easily broke your heart. My mom came rushing out, towels and dog crate in hand and had me move the car forward so we could get to her. Her eyes were enormous and she kept yowling as my mom carefully put a towel under her to pick her up. She wasn’t bleeding at all, and only had a small patch of fur missing from her right back leg.

We rushed her to the vet, calmly waiting our turn in line once we got there. She was quite the whole way there; we figured she has already passed. They got us into a room after a short while; the guy in front of us took forever because he couldn’t unhook his dogs leash from the counter. The front desk woman quickly got the vet, who came in and listened to Lilly’s breathing. She was only just barely still alive, and the choice was clear. We had her put down as soon as possible. And not even five minutes after we got there we drove away having one less pet. Our family has dropped in number, from the even ten that we were to an odd nine. I suppose if you count my fish we went from 12 to 11 but whatever.

The vet was really nice about it. He basically agreed that what we were doing was best, without actually saying that because I don’t think doctors are legally allowed to give opinions in situations like those (but I’m not positive). They took her to a back room, because she had swollen up everywhere due to internal bleeding most likely, so that the doctor could have help finding a vein to administer the drug that would kill her… She was my cat. MY cat. I raised that animal almost literally from birth.

My mother’s ex-boyfriend was fixing our porch (at our last house) because it had rotted through. But he took a board out and then put another in its place but not completely finishing everything because it had started to rain and so the arrangements were makeshift for the time being. He took too long getting back to it, and so once he finally started putting it together correctly, a cat popped out from the hole (which led underneath the house). She had kittens in there. Only two oddly enough. One was black, the other looked very Siamese. They stayed under there for over a week, because we hoped the mom would come back and get them if we made things accessible through a different route. It didn’t work. So finally my aunt and my mom pulled up the board and got out the two newborn kittens, which only barely had their eyes open.

My sister and I each got one, I took Lilly, and my sister took Albus. We had to bottle feed them every morning and night, and taught them how to use the litter box. They were my little Yin and Yang babies. But now my set is incomplete, and the one that I held the greatest attachment to is gone. You know, she used to nurse on me. For no reason at all. Whenever you started petting her she’d start suckling at your shirt, and kneading it with her claws. It was really annoying sometimes, and hurt like crazy when you weren’t wearing enough layers, but I’ll miss it. She wasn’t even 6 yet. I couldn’t tell you exactly how old she was, but somewhere between 4 and 5. It’s odd that I took a picture of her just yesterday. She was thoroughly enjoying herself on that tree. Here’s the picture again, just because I feel it should be shown here.


Here’s another, because I never really showed what she looked like to you guys. She really was a pretty cat.


 Sorry it’s so blury. I’ll find more, hopefully, tomorrow when I can search through the camera. Here’s one last one I was able to find though.

 Here’s a picture of her sister, Albus.

There’s one thing that I can’t stop thinking about though. Today is the first day of spring, and yet I watched my cat die right in front of my house. I watched a member of my FAMILY die right before my eyes, and I was completely helpless. I couldn’t have done anything to try and save her. What does that say about the rest of the Spring? Of this new beginning? It’s so bad an omen I don’t know what to do to prepare for anything. To prepare for an event I will have no control over. An event that I will only be able to watch in horror and see that nothing could have gone on differently. I do not know what is in store for my family, but I am truly frightened.