We’re reading Lord of the Flies in Language Arts and I love that book. We’re only on chapter two (the pace we’re going is maddening) but my teacher is giving us a project already. We were put into groups of three, all of us with our same gender, and guess who I was put with? Yes, the asshole. I’ve written about him before but I can’t find the post centered entirely on him. Anyway, normally I’m a take charge type of person, except when I don’t want to be. So I let him take charge of our little group, trying to issue orders as if he’d know what to do in a plane crash. I was fine letting him take charge. I would be the little voice that told him what to do, receiving no credit but actually being the brains of things. He gave some very basic instructions, telling the other two of us what our job for the first three days would be (he made me the fruit gatherer, go figure.) We needed to come up with a list of things to do, i.e. what our plan would be. Since he and the other group member decided that searching out the marijuana on the island was the first order of business I decided that making my own list would be best.

My list was professional and realistic, using all of the resources of the island to benefit us most in a short amount of time. I went up and presented our my list. I received some oo’s and aah’s from my teacher and then sat down. Once everyone had presented we received a handout which was a kind of grading rubric meant to show how we each participated in the group. Clearly my teacher had not seen that it was I who had done all the work and gave him the credit of being leader. Yes that was my goal except I was planning as if I had been on the actual island. So now he looks all smart and cool due to my good planning. *sigh* I suppose I did bring it on myself. I’m still irritated though because now we have to write a paper on the subject. What am I supposed to say? “Yes, I hadn’t want to struggle for control in a five minute, tiny assignment (as would have been the case) so I let him take control. Except it was my planning, my skill, my knowledge that completed this assignment. He would’ve been lost when it came to organizing things and storing food.” No. I can’t say that in a big essay. It would reveal too much about my nature. I over-think things, strategizing practically everything. But I don’t want people close to me knowing that. I’d just like to be able to point things out and seem extremely intelligent. Hahahaha that’s not too much to ask is it?

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