These past few days of school have been sapping of any hope, vigor, or good mood I had left. When I come home I’ve just been laying on the floor waiting to die. Honestly, today I actually started tearing up (which is the equivalent of crying for me because I hardly ever cry). Never have the thoughts of suicide or dropping out of school been such predominant thoughts throughout my day. School hasn’t even been that bad recently either, I almost felt like I was learning something in math and science today. But for whatever reason my mood is not improving. I’m getting more and more depressed with each day. My journalism teacher is the only teacher who knows that I’m trying to leave and take online classes. He wrote on one of my assignments today (though I’ve been doing nothing in his class for over a week now) “I do hope you stay at this school. Leaving my not make the troubles go away. What can we do to change what is currently happening?” If my troubles don’t go away soon then I’m not going to bother with any of it. I’ll drop out and probably run away to some far off tropical island where I can grow all the plants I want and never have to deal with anyone ever again. Nothing can be changed about my school. It’s like 40 people I’ve got issues with. The idea was nice, but it only made me feel worse.

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